Letters to Coulson
by heavensboy
Summary: WARNING: SPOILERS! 'Following the events caused by Loki, in which Agent Coulson met an unfortunate end, SHIELD therapists suggested to the Avengers to write letters to help them deal with his death.' A series of short letters written by the Avengers.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ok, so with my other Avengers fic 'Stay With Me', I'm not sure if I want to write more for that particular fic, or write another one-shot or something with Steve/Bruce... Let me know what you guys think XD **

**Warning: Spoilers for movie (although I don't understand why you haven't seen it yet; it's amazing!) Also, eventual implied Clint/Coulson. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers (unfortunately) – Marvel does.**

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Son of Coul,

What you did... you saved my life. I thank you for that, but I am also sorry for what my brother did. He initiated this war, but he is still my brother. I hope you understand.

Your efforts towards this war have not gone unnoticed; we held what you mortals call a 'funeral' a week after our victory. However, we could not see your body one last time as the man named Fury had taken it and stored it in one of S.H.I.E.L.D.s many vaults. I do not question him, but I wanted to give you a proper Asgardian departure; you deserve it. I believe you could have been - if not were - one of the best soldiers of Midgard.

I believe this would be my last farewell... I shall see you among the stars one day.

Thor Odinson

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**A/N: So I've got a few of these letters written up already, and I think I'll be uploading two every day, unless you'd like me to space them out even more? Also, please leave a review if you liked this****, I'd love to know what you guys think! :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Decided to post the next chapter because I'm nice like that. After this it'll probably be one chapter a day until the end (not too far away). **

**Don't forget to review if you liked it :) **

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Hi Phil - I hope you don't mind me calling you that? It's just... Agent Coulson feels too much like work, and I want to remember you as a friend.

If it wasn't for you, Loki might have opened the gate a bit sooner - we couldn't have dealt with it so soon. We weren't even a team before then. You helped us learn how to work together, but at the cost of your own life. We're... we're sorry, that you weren't able to see us as how you imagined what the Avengers Initiative would be.

You know, the Hulk... he managed to save Tony's life. I think you'd be proud of him, Phil. He thought of both of you as his friends; I'm sorry I wasn't there to save you too.

Bruce


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, story alerts/favourites I've gotten so far, I'm really glad you like this idea.**

**Hope you like this next one, and please review if you liked it! Reviews brighten up my day :) **

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Hey Agent... Phil.

I should've been there instead of you. I'm sure the helicarrier could've waited for another ten minutes. I think saving you should've been a priority... but they needed me, Phil. I couldn't... They needed to be able to trust me.

Hah, I tried to be like you in the end; risk my life to save the day. I managed to get back though - that's when the Hulk saved me. I wish you were still here. You'd probably tell everyone to stop moping in that calm voice of yours. That always annoyed me, did you know? That you could keep all your emotions in like that... how do you do it? That's another way I want to be like you. Me, I just try to drink all my emotions away. It never works though - they just come back ten times worse in the morning.

I just... thank you. I don't know what else I can say, so thank you. For everything.

Tony Stark


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Next letter's up! Again, thank you to all who put this in their favourites/alerts!**

**Also, please leave a review if you liked this :)**

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Agent Coulson - I'd salute, but... this is a letter. At least they don't want me to write an email, I still haven't really gotten used to the computer yet.

I tried to clean your cards, your vintage ones. There's still a small stain on them though - I hope that doesn't matter too much. I signed every single one of them; your Captain America memorabilia as well, I found most of them in your locker. Did you have another locker somewhere? The first one was packed full of the stuff! I should've had a... photo(?) taken with you as well, I've heard that you've wanted one since you were a child.

Anyway, you might not be one of the Avengers, but I'm damn well sure that you're a hero like one of us. I expect there'll be cards of Agent Coulson and toy models of your favourite gun soon, and if not I wouldn't be surprised if S.H.I.E.L.D. made them themselves. I'll make sure I buy all of them, and all the new Captain America items as well; I'll sign them all for you. Just please... come back so you can see them?

Steve Rogers,

Captain America


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: And this begins the implied Clint/Coulson mentioned right in the first chapter, I hope you guys won't mind it. **

**Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, favourited and alerted this story! I really appreciate it :) Please leave a comment or something if you liked this, they make my day! (Well, apart from the fact that I've apparently been making people cry... I'm sorry!)**

**(Just a note, the lines at the start are meant to be crossing out - stupid FF doesn't keep strikethroughs in the text)**

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-Couls- Agent-C-

Phil,

I miss you. I don't care if that makes me seem weak, but I do. Why did you have to go and stop Loki? We could've done that for you; the Avengers stopped him anyway. You didn't have to go and die! I tried asking Fury where you are but he never answered. Your last memory of me... You never got to see me when 'Tasha woke me up. You died thinking I was still compromised, still under the influence of Loki.

Me and 'Tasha, we don't want another handler in S.H.I.E.L.D., they don't trust us anyway. You were the only one who let us do what we had to do, no questioning or anything. Well, actually, there were a couple of times when you did that thing where you raise your eyebrow at me, but you never wrote anything bad in the reports. You even let me hang out in the vents above your office. I'm not sure if you ever realised... actually you probably did, you notice everything, but after the first few times when the junior agents brought you some really bad – and I mean disgusting – coffee, I started making it just the way you like... liked it.

I think I might try and quit S.H.I.E.L.D. soon - if they even let agents quit. There's not much left for me here; it was only ever you and Natasha, but I'm with her in the Avengers Initiative now anyway. We never even got a chance for a final goodbye... so I guess I'll just say it now.

Goodbye, Phil.

Clint


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed and put this in their alerts/favourites, and the silent readers as well. You guys make me pleased that people are actually reading this, so yeah, thank you. :) **

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Coulson.

Stop messing around, I don't know where you are but I know you're still alive. I've been around S.H.I.E.L.D. long enough to know that we don't store bodies in vaults – we don't even have any. I know you probably had your reasons, but this has gone on for too long now.

I haven't told any of the others this yet; I don't know what they'd do if they found out. Probably go and kill Fury, if I'm totally honest. Hell, I'm tempted to go and find him right now, tell him to bring you back from wherever he's keeping you. Clint should probably know as well, seeing as he's been around as long as I have, if not longer, but your 'death' has really messed him up.

He misses you, you know. He might not show it around everyone, but we've been partners for a long time and I know how to read him. He takes on missions that are more dangerous each time; he never sleeps, instead choosing to spend days down at the range shooting until his fingers bleed, but he doesn't stop. He's hurting himself as punishment for what he did, and also what he didn't do – save you.

Make sure you come back before it's too late, Phil.

Natasha

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**A/N: So... what do you guys think of this latest letter? Why not leave a comment or two telling me? :) **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hi guys! Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I didn't have my laptop with me so I couldn't finish writing this up. Hope this makes up for it! Again, thank you for all the reviews, story alerts and favourites. It's great to know people like this, and still read it, so thanks! :) **

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Agent Phil Coulson looked down at the letters in his hands and gave a small smile as he sat on the edge of a bed. Trust Natasha to be the first to find out. He looked up and saw Fury standing by the doorway, watching him.

"Look, Director, this is really nice of you to bring me these, but I don't understand what you want me to do." He waves the letters around in the air to emphasise his point. "Oh, and you _do_ realise that Natasha kinda knows I'm alive, right?" Without saying a word, Nick Fury walked over to the desk next to his bed, put down a few pieces of paper and some pens, and simply walked out. Sighing, Phil lifted himself off the bed using the desk as a support and dropped into the chair, wincing when it pulled the stitches just to the left of his heart. He reached over and pulled the paper towards him, picked up a pen, and started writing.

"Sir, a letter has just arrived for the Avengers. I've had it sent down to the living room." JARVIS' smooth tones cut into Tony's sleep. He stood up, yawning, and stretched.

"Tell the others to meet down there then. I'll be there in a minute."

"They are all waiting for you already, sir."

Tony blinked. What time was it? "Ok, I'm going down there now."

"So, who sent the letter?" Tony asked the Avengers as he flopped down onto the couch.

"We don't know. We decided to wait for you before opening it." Steve stood up, holding the letter. "Shall I open it now then?" The others murmured their consent and he carefully ripped the envelope open, pulling out the pieces of paper inside. "I'll just... read it out then.

"_To the Avengers,_

_I'm sorry. Fury's keeping me somewhere right now, but I'm afraid I can't tell you where. Yet. This might seem like a shock to all of you, but I just want to tell all of you not to blame yourselves for what happened. If I managed to stall Loki for just a few more minutes, then I managed to do my job. _

_Thor, I understand. He might not be your brother in blood but he is still your family. Family forgive each other, and I hope you will continue to love him. He needs it. _

_Bruce... Bruce. I've always believed in you, just like Tony had. I was just waiting for the moment when _you_ believed in yourself. I knew you guys would pull together, if you just had that extra push. Namely, me. And yes, I'm proud of the Hulk for saving Tony's life, I knew he could do it. I'm proud of _both_ of you. _

_Tony. Never risk the lives of a hundred people to save the life of one man. _Never_. And I'll tell you my secrets when I next see you. _

_Steve, I'll hold you to that photo, okay? I don't really mind if there're stains on the cards, as long as you've signed them. Oh god, have they really been making cards of me? That's embarrassing. _

_Clint... Oh Clint. I just... I had to do my job. I never believed that you would succumb to Loki that easily; I know you're strong. Oh, I didn't _let_ you hang out in the vents, you decided to make a nest up there so it wouldn't be as easy to move you away. And I did know about the coffee... Thank you. Don't quit S.H.I.E.L.D., you're one of their top agents, and they can't afford to lose you. Besides, if you wanted to quit, it wouldn't be that easy. They give every agent who quits some kind of memory-erasing pill, so you'd forget all the time you've spent there. And in your case, that would've been about half your life gone. _

_It's always you, Natasha, isn't it? Don't worry, I'll be back soon. I'll talk to you more then._

_Agent Phil Coulson"_

Steve looked up as he finished, taking in the bewildered and shocked faces of his teammates. All apart from Natasha, who looked just the same as she did every day, so he didn't bother thinking of it as strange.


End file.
